


Rimming Practices for the 23rd Century

by Daiya_Darko



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Crack, Drabble, F/M, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-22 16:57:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/915718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daiya_Darko/pseuds/Daiya_Darko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Light discussion of Leonard's oral skills</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rimming Practices for the 23rd Century

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tomiissherlocked](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomiissherlocked/gifts).



How the topic came up, Leonard still was unsure hours later once they had gotten back to the ship, but he _did_ remember there were threats involved, possibly. Most likely. Jim was there, so there had to have been at least one threat.

“I will shove my fist up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet,” Leonard had warned, waving his steak knife in Jim’s face. Jim simply laughed and pushed it away.

“I’d be more inclined to believe you if you were even an ass man, Leonard,” Jim smirked, glancing over at Uhura who glared at him over her glass of wine.

“Well, I’m dating Nyota for her personality, not her ass, you degenerate.”

“Excuse me?” Nyota cocked her head and regarded Leonard quietly.

“I mean, uh,” Leonard looked around the table before fixating on Jim and staring him down. “Your ass is great, but I’m not about to put that information out there.”

“Oh, you aren’t?” Nyota knocked back her wine and set the glass down with a heavy thump before resting her face in her hand on the table. “Cause you seemed mighty eager to tell everyone how much you loved eating my ass last night.”

Leonard’s face grew hot as his mouth slacked in shock. “I-I don’t eat ass,” he feebly argued.

“You don’t eat ass? Christine,” Nyota turned to Chapel, sitting amusedly next to Jim, and said, “Leonard don’t eat ass. You believe him?”

Chapel laughed, and Leonard found himself too embarrassed to even be angry at his nurse. “Nope, not one bit.”

Jim looked mildly indignant. “You told me you don’t eat ass!”

“I’m straight, Jim.”

“Yeah, and I'm celibate," Jim waved him away. "An ass is an ass, though. Everyone has an ass!”

“Yeah, well get back to me when you’ve gotten a wax! I don’t wanna be flossin’ and pickin’ your damn dingleberries out of my mouth.”

Jim fixed him with a challenging glare, and Leonard was helpless to do much but sit back and try to relax even as a slightly drunk Nyota regaled Jim with details about his rimming skills. There was an eerie calm about Leonard as he tongued his cheek and tried to fight the urge to sprint back to the ship, dragging Nyota along, and spanking the shit out of her for this…

And then, of course, eating her wonderful ass as an apology.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a convo about whether McCoy eats the ass (http://cmoleonardmccoy.tumblr.com/post/57591761370/2-05-41-am-daiya-yoooooo-what-do-you-think-of) and also this Kevin Hart bit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyopPchi4LM
> 
> the face Kevin makes in that vid is the one Bones is making by the end of this


End file.
